What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

I see lots of pictures of women who have huge clits are they real or what?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

How do you say "I don't speak Italian yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn Italian with you. Would you like to teach me Italian?" in Italian?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Jonas Brothers cancel and move upcoming concerts, including one in North Texas - WFAA

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How do I become a Buddhist, and can someone explain Buddhism to me?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Do individuals with borderline personality disorder have awareness of their actions or do they believe their behavior is normal?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why is fitness important?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why do I keep dreaming of my mom, who recently passed away from cancer, still being sick and in pain?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What should I do? I'm 17 and I'm dating a 23-year-old guy.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why would Joseph Smith say that polygamy was God's law?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What exactly is female squirting? Is it only urine or a combination of liquids?

TEXT:

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I want to touch my sister’s boobs. What do I say?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!